Finding A Way Out
by Ginger S
Summary: John Roderick Gage was always thinking of new ways to do things. He was always on a tirade about how to get out of situations. But at this fire his ingenuity was really put to the test. Could he find his way out of this nightmare?
1. Chapter 1

**Finding A Way Out**

**By GCS**

_**DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. **_

_**The story, itself, is the property of the author.**_

_**I just want to say that I do not know if a transmission between HT's can be heard over a radio scanner or department radios, but for the purpose of this story you can.**_

Today had started as most normal days do. The shrill beeping of the alarm clock had interrupted his deep blissful slumber. He had smacked it several times trying to stop the offending noise. Successful in his third attempt, he had actually managed to turn it off instead of simply just hitting snooze. A while later he jumped up with a start as he heard the ringing telephone. "Crap!" he said aloud to the empty room. He knew he had fallen back to sleep and had now officially overslept and would be late. Reaching for the telephone on the other side of the bed he lifted the receiver to his ear and spoke in a very hoarse whisper, "Hullo"

"Johnny?" Roy Desoto his paramedic partner at Station 51 of the Los Angeles County Fire Department knew it was his best friend, but he sounded funny.

"Huh? Um yeah Roy it's me. What….uh what time is it?"

"Nine thirty Johnny, you're late. Cap's kinda mad. You comin' or are you sick or something?"

Roy could hear Johnny coughing through the phone. "I'm comin' Roy."

"Johnny you sound like you have a pretty bad cough there. Are you sure?"

"Yes Dad I'm sure. I pulled some overtime yesterday at 16's and we had a big one, and I just woke up. You wanna tell Cap I'm on my way or should I."

"I'll tell him. Be careful Johnny. Dwyer's gonna stay 'til you get here."

"Okay Roy, I'm on my way. I'll just put on my uniforms before I…..oh man!"

"What is it Johnny?"

"My uniforms are at the dry cleaners. I'll have to stop and get them. Look Roy I gotta go if I'm ever gonna get there. Thank Dwyer for me. See ya in a bit." Johnny hung up the phone before he even heard Roy's response. He had showered the night before after getting in from the overtime shift and fire. He had been covered in smoke and soot. He grabbed his favorite tight, faded blue jeans, black fire department t-shirt from this year's picnic, pulled on his regulation black sox and his well worn cowboy boots, grabbed his wallet, keys and shades and practically ran for the door while running his fingers through his thick black hair trying to at least make it appear he had combed it. It would take a minimum of thirty minutes from his ranch to the cleaners, five minutes to get his uniforms, (He hoped they saw him coming and had them waiting when he got inside. He smiled as he remembered the sexy little redhead that worked there on most mornings.) and another ten to the station. No way could he get there in less than forty five minutes. Cap was going to give him latrine duty for a month. He groaned at that thought as he shifted his Land Rover into gear and threw gravel from his drive as his wheels hit the pavement.

Meanwhile back at the station Roy made his way slowly to Captain Stanley's office. If he delayed telling his superior for a few minutes it would make it seem like it took less time for Johnny to get there. Knocking on the frame to the always open office door he cleared his throat. "Um Cap. I talked to Johnny. He pulled an overtime shift at 16's yesterday; they had a big fire. He's on his way. He should be here in a little while."

"Well thank you Roy. I understand about the overtime shift I spoke with the Captain at 16's this morning. He said it was bad. He told me that John would probably be running on empty this morning, and that he took in some smoke. However, it is still his responsibility to either call in or be on time. I will need to see him when he is here, dressed and ready to begin work. You let him know when he gets here."

"Yes sir." Roy turned from his Captain and walked over to the squad's passenger side and began the morning inventories.

"Hey Roy did you find that partner of yours?" Chet Kelly asked smiling. "I know who has latrine duty today and probably for the next few shifts." He said in an almost sing song fashion.

"Shut up Chet. Leave Johnny alone when he gets here too. He pulled overtime yesterday and they had a big fire and he took In some smoke. You tell the Phantom to lay off. Got it?"

"Uh sure Roy I'll talk to the Phantom. Is Gage okay?"

"Well he's coming in. That's about all I know."

"Hey Roy?" Mike Stoker turned from polishing the engine. "You think Johnny will be up for some spaghetti today? I was thinking on that for dinner, but I don't want to fix anything too rich if he can't enjoy it."

"Thanks for the concern Mike, but we both know that Johnny would love your spaghetti any day or night of any week."

"Good, cause I already got the stuff to make it." Mike smiled at Roy and went back to methodically swirling the polishing rag against the bright shiny red engine.

Soon the squeal of tires could be heard rounding the back of the building. A white Land Rover blur whirled around towards the bay and flew into reverse as John Gage arrived. Backing into his spot the car engine had not even stopped before Johnny was lowering his long legs out the door. He grabbed his uniforms from the back and strode into the bay. He didn't speak or look up as he went into the locker room clearly on a mission to get changed. Roy followed his friend to tell him to report to Cap as soon as he was dressed.

Walking slowly up to his Captain's office Johnny cleared his throat as he reached up and knocked on the door frame.

"Come in John. Take a seat."

"That's okay Cap I think I'll stand."

"Suit yourself. John I know that you worked an overtime shift at 16's, had a big fire, and took in some smoke, however, you have to be on time for your shift. If you are not able to come in due to illness or injury you must call in advance so that arrangements for a replacement can be made. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Johnny looked at his hands and shifted from side to side nervously. There was a silence in the small office that made the younger man extremely uncomfortable. "Can I go now?"

"Yes. You can start on the latrines. That will be your duty for the next three shifts. Got it?"

Johnny sighed as he turned to leave. "Yes Cap I understand." He slowly walked across the apparatus bay looking utterly defeated. Johnny cared a great deal about maintaining the respect that he had earned from his superior. He was disappointed in himself for letting Captain Hank Stanley down. I'll just have to work extra hard to make that latrine shine like brand new. He thought to himself. Before he made it half way across in front of Big Red the tones went off calling the squad on a man down run. Roy and Johnny slid into their seats in the squad as Captain Stanley handed the call slip to Roy through the open driver's side window, and they were off. Like a Greyhound shooting out of the starting gate at the dog tracks the little red squad came out of the bay with sirens blaring even before the big door was all the way up. Both Johnny and Roy sat tall in their seats with their helmets on the adrenaline pulsing through their veins. "Wonder what happened?"

"We'll see in a few minutes."

"Roy, take the next left and then an immediate right. It will save us five minutes at least." Roy didn't question the directions supplied by Johnny. He was probably the best navigator in the county. Johnny knew short cuts that no one else in the department knew. He could shave time off of runs and get them there in time to actually make a difference in otherwise dire situations. Roy often wondered if Johnny drove around looking for short cuts on his days off. The man down turned out to be a twisted ankle, and the patient agreed that he could see his own personal physician if the swelling did not go down after he put ice on it. Johnny and Roy were backing into the station when the tones sounded sending them on run number two which turned out to be a kid who had been stuck in a tree until his older brother called him a yellow bellied chicken. The boy had climbed down on his own feeling pretty good about himself until he saw the glare that his mother gave him after she had called for help. Both paramedics tried to help by explaining that although it was a false alarm they were glad she had called anyway, because he could have fallen or gotten stuck. They were glad he was okay. These back to back runs were beginning to tire the two men. Once again they headed back towards the station. "Man I hate latrine duty!"

"Yeah I know what you mean. I think I would rather do just about anything other than latrine duty." Roy smiled over at his friend. "But I guess there has to be some consequences for tardiness."

"Yeah," Johnny laughed with his friend until his laugh turned into a cough. "Don't make me laugh Pally. You're choking me up." Roy knew the cough was from the smoke inhalation which made him a little worried. After getting control of his cough Johnny turned to his partner and asked, "Hey Roy do you think we need to run to Rampart to get supplies?"

"I think that might be a good idea if we're gonna get called out the rest of the day like we already have."

Three runs later and a missed lunch the two tired paramedics stumbled into the day room. "You guys hungry?" Mike Stoker asked as he was getting up from his seat at the table.

"Starved!" Johnny answered without giving Mike time to even finish the question. All of the men in the room burst out laughing. "What?" Johnny spread waved his hands in the air as he asked.

"Nothing Junior, it's just that you are always hungry." Roy smiled.

"Well I didn't get dinner last night. I was too tired and dirty to eat after getting off shift from 16's and then I woke up late. I skipped breakfast and we've been on calls all morning. I am starving. I think my blood sugar is low. I might just pass out if I don't get something to eat soon." He faked a lightheaded look and swayed a little to emphasize his point.

"Okay John Travolta sit down and I'll get your lunch from the oven," Mike Stoker laughed at the antics of his young friend.

"Thanks Mikey," Johnny was already seated before he finished speaking. Truth be told he was tired and felt unsteady on his feat, but he would never let the rest of the crew know that. He knew they cared about him and would probably have made him go home or to Rampart to get checked out if they had known how tired he felt. Making short work of the warm roast beef sandwiches and fries Johnny and Roy sat together relaxing at the kitchen table drinking coffee when the tones sounded once again. Only this time it was for the whole station. It was for an eight story office building fire. These were usually bad if they happened during the normal work day when the offices were full of working people. Inevitably someone would have ignored the ringing fire alarms thinking it was a false alarm and continued to work only to find out that they were in danger.

When the engine and squad pulled up to the scene they were first, so Captain Stanley would orchestrate the attack on the fire. "Roy, John get your gear. I'm sure we have some people still inside. Marco, Chet get a two and a half and start on the front. Try to maintain the entrance. Mike once you get the engine and water pressure set see if you can get these people to stand back. I'll go see if I can find out who may still be inside." The six men set off to perform their assigned tasks. Roy and Johnny were helping Mike with crowd control when Captain Stanley came back and told them to do a search of the top two floors. An accounting firm occupied that part of the building and there were at least two people unaccounted for. Not even hesitating for an instant the two men ran into the building and began the upward journey on the stairs that connected the eight floors. Half way up they stopped to catch their breath.

"I hope we find them fast. It's really hot in here," Johnny yelled to Roy.

The two men finally reached the seventh floor, winded, but ready to get the search underway. "Cap we are on the south side seventh floor. We will be searching from here to the north side. If the stairs on that end are clear we will go up to eight from there."

"10-4 HT 51."

"Johnny you take the right side and I'll take the left. Yell if you find anyone."

Johnny nodded his understanding of Roy's plan. They were almost to the end of the hall when Roy opened the next to the last door and almost tripped over a woman who had passed out just inside. He quickly checked her pulse. There was no debris so he knew she was more than likely suffering from smoke inhalation. "HT 51 to Engine 51, Cap I found one of the missing. Can we get a bucket up this high?"

"That's a negative. Can you get down to six? We can pick you up from there."

"10-4 I'll be on the front North side last office. It's getting pretty hot in here Cap. Make it quick."

"Roy I'm gonna finish here and go up to eight. If I find the other victim I'll meet you on six." He chuckled. "I'll meet you on six anyway I guess. We need to hurry. This place is going to go fast when the fire meets up with all of this paper." He held up a file to stress his point.

Roy nodded his agreement and lifted the HT to his mouth. "Cap Johnny's going to finish the sweep on eight and meet us on six."

"Make it fast. Roy, give John the HT."

"10-4, HT 51 out."

Johnny helped Roy to lift the woman onto his shoulders before turning and ducking into the last office across the hall. Roy turned; felt the stairwell door for heat and after finding none pushed his way into the stairwell to head down to six. Looking over his shoulder towards his best friend he could not help but get a sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen. Roy hated to separate from Johnny, because when he did he could not keep an eye on his young impetuous friend. Johnny did not take unnecessary risks, but he could somehow always find trouble.

Checking the last office on seven Johnny moved on to the next floor. He could tell the heat was increasing and the smoke was so thick he almost could not see well enough to navigate the hallway. Johnny had checked all of the offices on eight when he heard Captain Stanley on the HT in his pocket.

"Engine 51 to HT 51."

"HT 51."

"The second victim has been located. Get out of there John. It's too hot."

"10-4, HT 51 out." Johnny ran for the stairwell that he had come up on only to find the door hot. He could feel the heat emanating from inside the walls. He turned and ran down the hall to the other end. Feeling that door he found it warm but not hot yet. He cracked open the door and peered down into the stairwell. He could see the flames below but they had not reached the eighth floor yet. He looked up to see if the passage to the roof was clear. It was.

Thinking going up to the roof was his only option he made a dash for it as the flames began to dance their way up the walls just below him. He burst through the door leading to the roof and ran over to the side where the engine was parked. Looking down the eight stories everything below looked so small. There were flashing red lights from the multitude of fire fighting equipment below. For a second Johnny thought about how pretty the red lights flickering against the horizon were. He loved being a fireman and had a deep appreciation for the equipment they used to squelch the flaming beast that threatened to eat everything in its path. He could see that none of the equipment would reach past the sixth floor. Pulling the HT from his turnout pocket he called to his Captain. "HT 51 to Engine 51." Not waiting for an answer Johnny called to his superior. He needed help. If he didn't get off that roof and fast he was going to burn alive. "Cap!"

"Engine 51." Sensing urgency in Johnny's voice he didn't waste time with radio protocol. "John what's going on?"

"Cap I'm on the roof. I can't get down. The stairs are engulfed on both ends. It's gettin' real hot up here. Any chance on a chopper?" Johnny could feel the roof underneath him getting hotter. He could see the flames dancing up from the windows below, reaching for anything that would burn. He was sweating underneath his turnout coat. His uniform clung to his body. His hands trembled as he held the HT waiting for Cap's response. He could hear his Captain calling dispatch and requesting a chopper and the ETA.

"John," Captain Stanley ignored radio protocol again. He had to give one of his men the worst news he could possibly ever have to deliver. "ETA on the chopper is fifteen minutes." Captain Stanley leaned his head against the cool metal of the engine. He knew fifteen minutes was too long. "Can you hang on?"

"No." Johnny told his Captain what he already knew. The roof was caving in and Johnny would burn before the chopper could get there. All five of the members of the A-shift of Station 51 were now gathered together by the engine, their eyes all searching the roof ledge for a glimpse of their friend. They all knew he probably would not survive this fire. Suddenly he was standing at the edge looking down on them. "Cap, I…uh…tell the guys..I…"

"Don't John….don't give up. The chopper could get here in time."

At the hospital Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early, Dr. Morton and Dixie McCall all were waiting by the fire department scanner waiting for word on their friend when they heard Johnny's transmission. "Oh God, Kel do you think he'll get down?" Dixie had her hand to her mouth unsuccessfully trying to hold back her tears. "He isn't hurt. He can get down right?" Dr. Kelly Brackett simply walked over to his head ER nurse and put his arms around her. No one in the group of medical professionals knew what to say. The truth was that Johnny's chances of survival were slim to none.

"No time Cap. It's really hot the roof is caving in. Tell Roy thanks for being my partner okay? Tell him he's my best friend. Will ya Cap?" Everyone could hear the tremble in Johnny's voice, the fear of burning alive. His shift mates stood statuesque watching their friend as he stood on the roof a mere eight stories up. The doctors and nurse stood at the radio listening in shock at the fact that here their friend was facing certain death, and he was thanking his friend. Then all of a sudden Johnny was gone from the ledge.

"JOHN! Cap yelled into the radio. Johnny are you still with us? Hold on Johnny! The chopper will be here. Hang on son. Just hang on." Tears were running down the normally in control Captain's face.

Roy reached over and took the HT from his Captain. "Johnny, If you can hear me you have to try to hold on. Find somewhere that is not as hot and wait for the chopper. It will only be a few more minutes. Please Johnny don't give up. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my best friend."

"Pally." Roy heard Johnny whisper through the radio. "I'm kinda scared partner. I thought the fire would never get me. I don't want to die Roy."

Tears were running down both Roy's and Johnny's faces now; neither cared if anyone knew it. This may be the last conversation the two men would have together. "Junior you are not going to die. We'll think of something. Just hang on." Just as he uttered the last statement Roy could hear a rumbling noise coming from the depths of the burning building. The fire that was trying to engulf the structure and take away his friend seemed to be talking to the firemen declaring its victory. Looking up towards the last place he saw his friend Roy Desoto knew that the structure would either implode or explode at any time. The heat from the fire had become unbearable.

All at once there were gasps heard from the crowd as a very tall thin frame climbed up onto the ledge. "No Johnny! No don't! Cap. He's going to jump. He'll never survive that. Jesus Johnny don't!"

The pleas for his friend could be heard by all listening fire department personnel. Anyone not currently on a rescue or fire call gathered around their radios listening to the drama unfold before them. Most members of the department knew John Roderick Gage and most liked and respected him. Even those who did not know him felt compassion for their firefighting brother. Now all five of his shift mates were screaming for him to hang on and not jump. Firemen all over Los Angeles were discretely rubbing away the involuntary tears that fell from their eyes. How could this happen to one of their own. With all the fancy equipment they had nothing short of a miracle would save this man.

"Wait Cap he….I think he has tied something around his waist." Roy squinted trying to make out what was going on with his friend.

"Here Roy," Mike Stoker handed Roy a set of binoculars. "Try these."

"Thanks Mike." Roy slipped the binoculars up to his eyes and panned across the building until his gaze landed on Johnny. "It's….I don't believe it…it's a fire hose. He has cut a fire hose from the wall and tied it around the railing. He tied the other end around his waist. "He's going to climb…or try to climb down the side using a fire hose."

Just as Johnny stepped to the edge and grasped the hose near where he had tied it off, just as he was jerking on it to ensure the knot would hold, the center of the roof started a liquid like ripple effect seeping out and caving in bringing with it most of the surrounding platform. Flames could be seen shooting high into the sky, snaking and curling as though it were performing a victory dance. The intense heat and subsequent tremors that rattled the structure caused the entire building to sway knocking Johnny from his precarious perch on the very edge between life and sure death.

He fell.

He grasped the hose as best he could but it still slipped through his hands. He fell fast. There was nothing he could do to stop his rapid descent to the end of the hose. Silently he fell never screaming out as many victims of fall do, never losing his resolve to try to survive this nightmare. In a matter of seconds that seemed like years to him he came to an abrupt stop. There was a deafening silence from the firemen below. Save for the sounds coming from the various engines and the spraying water there was no noise. No one spoke. It was as if everyone held their breath.

He was at the end of the hose.

Slamming into the side of the building he lost his hold on the only lifeline he had.

His head cracked against the red brick façade of the once architecturally sound structure. His helmet fell the remaining five and a half stories to the pavement below. He felt searing pain in his shoulders and back. His hands burned from trying to grasp the hose even though he had his gloves on. His hip crashed into the wall causing his leg to go numb. He never lost consciousness. He couldn't let go. He had to stay awake if he had any chance to survive at all. Now he swayed at the end of the very thing that usually gave hope against fighting the fiery beast, the fire hose.

Roy had dropped the binoculars and was running in the direction that Johnny was falling towards. He thought if by some miracle his friend survived the fall to the pavement he would be there immediately to help him. The rest of the crew was running behind Roy. They didn't know what else to do. They were all shocked beyond belief. They stopped just short of the spot that would serve as the landing zone for their friend and looked up to see that the makeshift lifeline had held. Roy immediately began speaking breathlessly into the HT, "Johnny if you can hear me hold on. We're gonna get you down, okay. Just hold on."

Johnny tried to reach into his pocket for the radio that he could hear Roy speaking through. Slowly deliberately he wrapped his fingers around the HT and slid it from his pocket. Pressing the talk button with the little strength he could muster he raised it to his mouth and whispered, "R o o y y."

Dixie had almost collapsed when they heard Roy pleading with his best friend not to jump. How could a strong vivacious young man who faced fear every day be led to jump from the top of an eight story office building? How could he just give up unless he thought there would be no survival? She thought briefly about the alternative. Waiting on the roof with the knowledge that at any moment you would burn alive, watching the building that served as your tomb crumbling beneath your feet. Slowly she regained her composure and began praying for her friend. She prayed for a quick end with no suffering. She prayed for a miracle, but in her heart she just couldn't see that happening until she heard Johnny's small quiet fragile call of his partner's name. The three strong men standing around her began cheering and grabbing each other in a hug. They each grabbed Dixie up and kissed her tear stained cheeks. There was hope for a miracle.

"I'm here Johnny. I'm right here." Roy spoke very calmly to Johnny. Turning towards his crew mates he motioned to the squad. "Get the gear, backboard, splints, c-collar. I don't know what all we'll need. Cap, can we get the bucket up there?"

"Sure thing Roy I've already got them working on it. Just get our boy down here okay."  
Captain Stanley considered his men family, but his youngest charge was like a son to him. John Gage had a way about him that caused everyone to want to protect him. Hank had taken it upon himself to do just that. Seeing him almost lost to this rescue had gripped Hank's heart in a way that was normally only felt by a parent losing a child. Never in his career had he lost one of his crew. Thinking that the healthiest effervescent spark to the A-shift of 51's had almost had to stand on a roof awaiting sure death while he had stood helpless on the ground below was a crippling experience. If Johnny had not kept his wits about himself and provided a chance at his own survival, Captain Hank Stanley would have probably turned in his resignation tonight effective immediately.

Firemen all over the county yelled in exuberant joy and relief that one of their own had a very good chance of survival. Cheers could be heard coming out of fire stations everywhere. The people nearby the stations probably thought the men had lost their minds. Even the stoic Craig Brice, the walking rulebook, had slumped to his knees when he thought Johnny would perish. Now his partner Bob Bellingham, the animal, hoisted Craig from the floor and grasped him in a bear hug. Craig cheered with the rest of their crew; his station mates could not believe their eyes. Gil Robinson, Johnny's friend and former high school classmate now turned paramedic also cheered for his friend. Paramedics had a special bond beyond that of normal firemen. They were the ones who had to breach the dangers to find and extract victims from all kinds of calamities. All firemen put their lives on the line for the job, but the paramedics were usually the first in and last out of the dangers they faced on a daily basis.

Roy climbed into the bucket that would lift him to his friend. He took the backboard and the c-collar from Chet. "Is he gonna be okay Roy?"

Roy looked down at Chet and could see the deep concern that he had for Johnny. He knew that even though Chet and Johnny were always seemingly on each other's nerves they were in fact good friends. "If I have anything to do with it he will."

"Take care of him." Marco told Roy.

"You betcha."

The bucket moved too slowly for Roy who was reaching out for Johnny even before he was close enough to touch him. Johnny swung limply on the end of the hose. He still held onto the HT, but his eyes were closed.

Then suddenly without warning the hose shifted from above. The railing that secured his friend's descent was starting to break away from the concrete ledge it was anchored to. The HT slipped from Johnny's hand and fell crashing into pieces as it hit the ground. Slowly Johnny raised his head and peered up the length of the hose. 'Please God' he thought 'I can't take anymore.'

Roy reached for Johnny's wrist as he came up alongside him. His pulse was rapid and thready. His wrist was cold and clammy. "Okay Junior we have to get you down right now. That railing is about to give; I will not let you fall, but I need to check you out for spinal injury."

"Just get me off this ride." Johnny whispered barely audible enough for even Roy to hear.

Roy tied a safety line around Johnny's waist in case the hose broke free. He then with expert hands secured the c-collar and carefully with the help of the other man in the bucket slid Johnny onto the backboard, strapped him in and started the slow process of getting him down. Johnny was so relieved to be off the building, the adrenalin that had kept him from passing out before left him exhausted and weak. He could hear the cheering from below as they were lowered. "Stay with me Junior." Roy did not get an answer as Johnny lost his fight to remain conscious.

By the time they got Johnny to the ground and unloaded from the lift Chief McKonnike had arrived at the scene. He strode over to Captain Stanley and wrapped his arm around Hank's shoulder. "Hank your men are officially stood down. It seems that every man from the B-shift has called into headquarters and requested to come in and relieve you. They will meet you at the station and then you are all to report to Rampart and see about our friend here. I will handle the rest of this mess."

"Thank you, sir." Hank was more relieved than words could express. He knew that he himself would not be able to function once Johnny had left for the hospital. He suspected that his men would not be any better off than he was. They had been rocked to the very core. "We'll take the rigs back as soon as we get Johnny loaded for transport."

"Chopper 10 is standing by to transport him." The chief informed Captain Stanley. Then in an out of character move the chief bent down on one knee, placed his hand on Johnny's. He waited until he could see the brown eyes crack open a bit and congratulated him on his ingenuity and sheer will to survive. He wished him a quick and full recovery instructed Roy to take good care of Johnny; then he left to finish the job that Captain Stanley had started.

Hank Stanley knelt down beside Johnny and spoke into his ear. "I'm glad you made it back down son."

"I kept my helmet on this time Cap." Johnny whispered in return.

"Yes you did. You certainly did." Hank chuckled.

"S..s..sorry 'bout the…the HT." Johnny whispered.

"Forget about it John. It's not important." He patted Johnny's hand and then rose to assist his men in getting Johnny aboard the chopper.

The four members of the engine crew, Hank, Mike, Chet and Marco lifted the backboard with great care and placed it on the waiting gurney. The ambulance attendants stood back as the four men moved the gurney towards the chopper. As they passed other firefighters still working the fire each placed a hand on the arm, back or shoulders of the departing crew wishing their best to Johnny. Roy walked along in front carrying the drug box and bio-phone. He received as many well wishes as the other guys. Johnny was oblivious to it all.

The trip to Rampart aboard Chopper 10 was done in silence except for the transmissions between Roy and Dr. Brackett via the bio-phone. Roy worked infallibly to care for his best friend. Johnny was again unconscious. "What is our ETA?" Roy asked the Chopper pilot.

"Five minutes. Um Roy I…uh I'm real sorry I couldn't get there in time to get Johnny off that building before…" The pilot could not even voice the rest of his comment. "We heard it all over the radio. Man your partner is really something."

"Yeah." Roy looked down on his friend. "Yeah he's something."

As soon as they landed Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early and Dr. Morton converged on the gurney that carried Johnny. Before they could even get him into the treatment room they began their examination. Dixie aberrantly stood back from the activity. Roy joined her at the side of the room not wanting to leave. "How is he Roy?" Dixie whispered.

"He's pretty banged up Dix. I think he may have injured his shoulders while trying to hold on. I know his hands have fabric burns. His hip and back are bruised. He hit his head on the wall. God I thought he was going to jump. I mean I knew he would never take his own life, but the alternative…."

"Don't Roy. He's here. You got him here. We're going to take care of him. Good care of him, the best of care. Let's you and I go to the lounge. Kel will come tell us how he is doing once they finish the exam. I suspect the rest of they guys will be along as soon as they can." Dixie took Roy by the arm and led him from the room.

"Uh Dix I need to call Joanne. Give me a minute then I'll join you in the lounge."

"Okay Roy I'll get us some coffee."

Roy went to the phone in Dr. Brackett's office to call his wife. He had kept his composure at the scene and until he got Johnny turned over to the doctors, but now that it was over he wanted, no he needed to talk to his wife. "Jo."

Joanne could tell by the tone in his voice when he said her name that something was wrong, very wrong. "Roy what is it? What's happened?"

"Johnny's at Rampart." Roy's voice broke as he spoke to his wife. "God Jo he…"

"Roy was he the fireman on that roof?"

"Yeah."

"Oh God." She understood now why Roy was so broken. "They never said on the TV. I knew your station was there, but I didn't think…I uh…oh Roy is it bad?"

"Bad enough, I don't know for sure yet. He may need surgery on his shoulders and hip. He has fabric burns on both hands. He hit his head, but he had his helmet on this time. I think….I think he will be all right in time, physically, but mentally Jo I don't know how he ever got through it. I…he…he may not want to keep doing this, and I don't know if I would be able to if he quits. I just don't know how he did it…I mean a fire hose? I don't think I or anyone else would have thought of that. He really is a survivor Jo."

"Yes Roy he is. Don't worry about the what ifs for now. Let's just help him get better. I have to get the kids picked up from school. I will get someone to watch them for a while. I'll be there as soon as I can. Your partner hung on Roy now you need to hang on for him. I love you Roy."

"Thanks Jo. I love you too." Roy hung up the phone and put his head in his hands. He didn't know how long he sat there like that before Dixie placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I thought you got lost. I brought you some coffee." She handed Roy the warm elixir.

He gripped the mug in his hands and held it up to his lips, drinking slowly he felt the warmth of the liquid as it soothed his nerves. "Thanks Dix. We had better go to the lounge where everyone will be able to find us."

In the exam room Dr. Brackett tried to rouse Johnny. "John can you hear me?" He got no response. He rubbed Johnny's sternum and received a groan in response; then a slow stirring as his patient began to awaken. Soon weary brown eyes looked up at the doctors. They continued scanning the room not settling on anything. Johnny seemed to be anxiously looking for something or someone. A light went off in Kelly Brackett's head. "Mike get Roy in here. He's probably in the lounge."

A few minutes later Roy burst into the room. "Doc?"

"He seems uneasy Roy. He isn't speaking and keeps looking for something. I don't think he is completely awake yet. Can you try talking to him?" Dr. Brackett motioned to the head of the exam table while he continued his ministrations.

Roy walked up to the table, placed his hand on Johnny's, bent down into Johnny's line of vision and waited until his friend looked his way. When brown eyes met blue he whispered to his friend. "Hey Junior."

"R r r o y," Johnny whispered the name almost like a sigh of relief.

"I'm right here."

"Roy."

"It's okay Johnny. Your safe. You're gonna be fine."

"Roy."

"Johnny you need to calm down."

"Roy."

"What is it Junior?"

"Thanks."

"No problem." Roy patted Johnny's hand and stepped back out of the way.

Johnny raised his hand and grasped at thin air. "Roy?"

Roy stepped back up to the table and carefully took Johnny's injured hand. Johnny gripped his friend's hand with surprising strength.

"Stay there Roy," instructed Dr. Brackett.

"He has a concussion but no sign of scull fracture, a dislocated left shoulder and a strained right shoulder. He has several broken and cracked ribs and deep bruising from where the hose was around him. Looks like deep bruising on the hip as well, but no sign of fracture or dislocation," Dr. Early said as he examined the x-rays that had been taken earlier.

"Well his hands have some pretty severe fabric burns and he has some lacerations on his face and neck from the impact against the brick. He also may have sprained his right wrist. There is some swelling," Dr. Morton gave his report.

"Okay well we need to get him up to surgery to reset that shoulder. We can clean the lacerations and his hands when we get up there. We will also wrap the wrist and ribs upstairs. Then we'll move him into SICU for the night. He usually does not react to sedation very well, so I want him monitored closely. We don't need him hurting his ribs any worse or puncturing a lung from the effects of nausea." Dr. Brackett moved to go and prepare for the trip to surgery.

Roy had a few minutes alone in the room with Johnny while the doctors made the arrangements for the procedure.

"I guess I almost bought it back there."

"Yeah."

"I couldn't help but think how sad I was that I wouldn't get to see Joanne, Chris and Jenny. I really love them all. I want to have a family of my own someday, but they were all I could think of, except you and the guys. I thought of all of you too. Then I just decided that I couldn't give up. I thought maybe just maybe the window washers or some construction people might have left some rope up there ya know? I thought there has to be something I could use to get off that inferno. Then I saw the fire hose. That's all there was. I just thought it was worth a try. I mean what did I have to lose?"

"Sheer brilliance Junior, sheer brilliance. I don't think I would have been able to think about anything but the approaching flames."

"Nah Roy you'd be surprised how much you think of in a short period of time. It was like everything was moving in slow motion or somethin'. I was too scared to burn. I think I would have jumped first. Glad I didn't have to do that."

"Me too," Roy couldn't say much because the knot that had been in his throat for most of the rescue was back threatening to release the sobs that he felt over the terrible experience his friend had to endure while simply doing his job.

Right before the orderlies came to take Johnny up to surgery the rest of the crew slipped into the room. "Hey guys," Johnny spoke first. He was too tired to say much having shared his innermost feelings with his best friend right before.

"Man Gage you sure know how to liven up a fire," Chet as usual said something stupid that earned him a punch on the shoulder from the engineer.

"Don't pay any attention to him Johnny we're just glad you think on your feet," Mike tried to say something positive to counteract Chet's comment.

"Madre Dias Johnny how did you ever think to use that hose," Marco shook his head in amazement as he spoke.

"That's all there was Marco. It was that or…." He didn't finish. They all knew what he would have said.

"Well John there is about a hundred firemen out there in the lobby waiting to make sure you are okay. Craig Brice, Bob Bellingham, Dwyer, Gil Robinson, I guess just about every squad that works out of this hospital not on a run has shown up here claiming to be on a supply run. You can't even get into the parking lot for all the cars," Captain Stanley smiled at his youngest man.

"Wow," Johnny could not believe the idea that so many people cared about him.

"And Joanne," Roy chuckled.

"Okay fellas," Dixie broke up the rhetoric. "We need to get Mr. Gage here up to surgery." She smiled down at her favorite paramedic. "You okay handsome?"

"I will be Dix."

"You gentlemen can wait in the lounge."

The entourage stepped out of the room and lumbered down the hall to the lounge. Johnny was wheeled to the elevator through a line of men filling the hall on both sides. Roy was walking beside. Johnny looked from man to man seeing the concern in their eyes as he passed. Never had he experienced such an outpouring of support.

A few days later Johnny was to be released from the hospital to return to his ranch. Roy was picking him up after getting off shift. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah I'm ready, more than ready."

"Well then let's blow this popsicle stand."

The two friends wheeled down the hall way toward the elevator. Everyone spoke to Johnny as he rode down the hall. "Roy can we stop by and see Dixie before we go?"

"Well we had better. If I know her like I think I do she would kill us if we don't."

Johnny chuckled. "Yeah Pally, I think you're right."

After visiting in ER seeing all of the doctors and Dixie Johnny was tired and ready to climb into his own bed at home. Roy pulled Johnny's Rover up to the hospital exit and assisted Johnny into the passenger seat. With shoulders immobilized and his hands still wrapped as well as his wrist he could not maneuver well without assistance. Johnny fell asleep on the drive home.

Knowing they were almost to Johnny's ranch Roy gently shook his friend. "Wake up pal we're almost home." Roy knew that there was a surprise awaiting Johnny at the ranch.

Johnny looked up bleary eyed at his friend. "We home yet?"

"Almost."

Roy turned the Rover into the gravel drive and stopped to give Johnny a chance to take in the scene before them. There were two ladder trucks parked at the end of the drive with the ladders crossing and a flag draped between them. The drive was lined with rescue squads and the crewmen stood at attention beside their vehicles. "Roy?"

"Just relax Johnny you're a hero to them. You survived when no one thought you would. You used your head and found a way out of a no win situation. You gave firemen all over hope for survival when no hope is thought to be found."

When they pulled to a stop in front of the porch Johnny could see the rest of his crew waiting for him on the porch. The entire front yard was brimming with off duty and on duty firemen all standing at attention. When Johnny got out of the Rover with Roy's assistance the huge group of men cheered for him. Johnny was overwhelmed. At the front of the crowd stood Chief McKonnike with the biggest smile Johnny had ever seen him have. The Chief came forward and presented Johnny with a formal letter of commendation. Shook his hand and then to the amazement of everyone there took the man in a hug. "Congratulations John. I'm very proud of you."

Then the cheers erupted from the crowd once again.

"Okay John let's get you inside and settled somewhere comfortable," Captain Stanley clapped his hands in his usual fashion took charge fashion. The members of 51's A-shift entered the house with their wives and children. The rest of LA's finest began to disperse from their impromptu recognition ceremony. Roy had a list of people offering to help Johnny on the ranch until he was able to do it himself. Craig Brice's name was at the top. It had been his idea to put together a rotation of helpers. Joanne and the other wives had cleaned Johnny's house from top to bottom and prepared enough meals to get him and whoever was staying with him at the time through at least two weeks. Chris and Jenny had made him a welcome home banner that now hung over the fireplace.

"Thanks everyone," Johnny was too moved to say much.

"No need for thanks John we just want you better and back at the station," Captain Stanley said what everyone was thinking.

The group of friends gathered around the living room with plates of food and another A-shift party was underway. John Gage was again the center of attention. He was with his family, safe in his own home. Sure he still had to deal with his injuries and the aftermath of mental anguish that he was still experiencing after staring death in the face and living to tell about it, but with their help he would get through it and back to the station, back to the job that he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

I had several people asking for continuation of Finding A Way Out including NickTonyK's idea for Cap to help Johnny with his recovery. Thanks for the suggestions and requests. I can only hope that I do the next chapters the justice I did the original story. Also THANKS to everyone who reviewed so far. I love the support!!!!!!

Anyway here we go......

Nightmares

Finding A Way Out - Chapter 2

By GCS

_**DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.**_

Johnny sat in his recliner surrounded by his closest friends, his family; his letter of commendation lay in his lap. Staring at the words on the paper he couldn't believe that the department, Chief McKonnike, thought he deserved the praise he had been given. All he had done was follow his training, secure the scene and find a way out a burning building. What was the big deal? Why did that matter to anyone? He had been terrified of burning. Wouldn't they have done the same thing? Wouldn't anyone in that situation have thought to use the hose? He was just a guy, a normal everyday fireman. He didn't feel special. If he had done a better job he would not have gotten himself trapped in the first place. He sighed aloud.

"Johnny?" Roy had come up beside the recliner holding a plate of food in each hand. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh uh just….thinking."

Roy placed the two very full plates on the coffee table and reached for the letter. He knew that his best friend would have trouble accepting this praise. He knew that Johnny did not think he had done anything different than any other guy in the same situation, but he was wrong and they all knew it. "Let me put this up for you in the study. Then I'll come back and help you with your plate."

"I can take this sling off until after I eat," Johnny said trying to raise up in the chair enough to maneuver the sling on his sprained shoulder unsuccessfully. He closed his eyes to hide the irrepressible tears that welled up as the pain in his shoulders reawakened and the muscles in his chest pulled on his healing ribs. He gasped at the action and gritted his teeth to try to hide the severity of it all.

Captain Stanley made his way across the great room, picked up one of the plates from the coffee table and took the seat on the couch nearest the recliner. "Look John we are all family here. You do not have to hide your pain from us. We know you hurt. Now that said I will help you with this wonderful epicurean delight. Roy will help you remove that sling so you can hold the fork yourself if you prefer, but you will let me or someone else help you with the plate. Understood?"

Johnny did not have any fight left in him. He hung his head in defeat. "Yes sir, but I'm not very hungry."

"Nonsense son, if for no other reason but to satisfy the need to eat along with your medications, you will eat and besides John Gage you have never, since the day I met you, not been hungry." Stanley smiled at his friend. Johnny sheepishly smiled at his Captain and opened his mouth. Mike, Chet, Marco, and Roy as well as their families all laughed at the scene playing out before them. Captain Stanley spoon fed his youngest crew member most of what was on his plate. Soon the women moved to the kitchen to clear away the dishes and store the leftovers. The men from Station 51's A-shift settled around the TV as they often did when on duty together at the station. Before anyone noticed Johnny, who had been properly medicated, drifted to sleep.

'_He was alone in a very dark place, a very hot dark place, but he was shivering. The darkness seemed to envelope him. Suddenly he could see thin bright lines snaking up along the walls of darkness. The lines became bigger, wider. Then the lines became flames and closed in on him. He tried to move away only to find out there was no escape. He was getting hotter and hotter and the flames closer and closer seeming to taunt him; flitting before his face and then pulling back performing a kind of teasing dance. He pulled back screaming for help.'_

"Johnny wake up. You're having a bad dream. It's just a dream. You're safe at home. Johnny, come on now its okay." Roy softly shook him. All of the activity in the house came to an abrupt stop, the women came in from the kitchen, the kids came in from outside having heard Johnny scream for help. Johnny stared wide eyed but not aware. "Come on Junior wake up for me."

Johnny slowly became aware of his surroundings. The darkness cleared and he found himself in his recliner with all of his closest friends staring at him. "It was a dream?"

"Just a dream Johnny," Roy kneeled in front of Johnny and still had his hand on Johnny's knee where he had been gently shaking him. He patted him there and rose to his feet. "I think we need to get you up to bed. It's been a long day."

"Okay Roy," Johnny whispered softly. He was embarrassed that he had obviously been doing something to make everyone stare at him with concerned faces. He moved to get up from the recliner only much to his dislike he needed assistance from Chet and Roy to gain his footing. He was still groggy and weak. Once he was up and mobile Johnny shrugged off the help Chet was giving. "I'm okay now Chester B." Roy instinctively lowered his hand from Johnny's back but stayed close behind. He gradually made his way across the room stopping at the base of the stairs; turning to his friends he smiled slightly, "Thanks everyone for the nice homecoming." Then he turned and carefully made his way up the stairs. He knew they would finish tidying up and lock up when they left.

A few minutes later Roy found him sitting on the end of his bed still fully clothed. "What's wrong Johnny?"

"I'm like a newborn baby Roy. I can't even get my zipper down to go to the bathroom."

"Here Johnny let me help you. Tomorrow you can wear sweats. I think you can manage them better. No zippers." Roy made short work of helping Johnny strip down to his boxers. After a quick trip to the bathroom Johnny came over to the bed and awkwardly pulled down the covers. He sat on the side of the bed and turned as he lowered himself onto the stack of pillows that Roy had positioned for him. He lifted his legs up last and then tugged at the covers that were now hung on his foot. Giving up he lay back and sighed loudly. "Here let me get those covers untangled. Then I'm going to take Joanne and the kids home. Captain Stanley is going to stay here with you tonight. I have to take Joanne and the kids to church. They're having a children's choir program and Chris and Jenny are singing, but I'll come by after and help you get cleaned up."

"Roy I got my self off a burning building. I think I can clean myself up!" Johnny was clearly upset. "I may not be able to feed myself, but I will not need a nurse maid to wash me." He turned his head away from Roy in anger. If he could turn on his side without hurting his shoulder effectively ending the conversation he would, but that was impossible. He was completely frustrated with his inability to do anything for himself.

"Johnny there is nothing wrong with needing assistance from time to time. I mean look at all the help you have given me when I was injured and often even when I'm not. What is wrong with me helping you a little bit in return?" Roy knew he had to help Johnny understand. He knew his friend needed help with his physical needs at least until the sling came off of the sprained shoulder. The dislocated shoulder would take longer to heal, but at least he would have the use of one hand. Sadly it was Johnny's mental anguish that worried Roy the most.

"Sorry Roy, I just….."

"I know. Don't worry about it Junior. I'll see you tomorrow." Roy didn't wait for Johnny to respond. He knew from years of experience to let it drop for his sake and for Johnny's. "Goodnight."

Johnny didn't respond. Roy didn't really expect him to, so he closed the door and left.

Sleep claimed Johnny quickly, and he found himself trapped in the same nightmare.

'_He was alone in a very dark place, a very hot dark place, but he was shivering. The darkness seemed to envelope him making him cold in the middle of extreme heat. Suddenly he could see thin bright lines snaking up along the walls of darkness. The lines became bigger, wider. He was back on the eighth floor of the building that almost claimed his life. Then the lines became flames and closed in on him. He tried to move away only to find out there was no escape. He was getting hotter and hotter and the flames closer and closer seeming to taunt him; flitting before his face and then pulling back performing a kind of teasing dance. He could feel his skin begin to burn. The darkness became darker if that was at all possible. The smoke smothered him. He couldn't breathe the pressure on his lungs unbearable.'_

"John wake up," Captain Hank Stanley stood beside Johnny's bed. "Wake up son, it's just a bad dream." Hank didn't know when he started calling Johnny 'son'. He thought about it and decided it was after the fire. He was still having trouble dealing with it all himself. "Come on John your hyperventilating. You need to slow your breathing."

Johnny knew to listen to his Captain and follow his instructions. Without fully waking up he began to breathe more normally. His respirations slowed and deepened. Hank knew that Johnny had fallen back into a normal sleep. Instead of returning to the guest room Hank pulled the chair in the room over beside the bed, lowered himself into it and propped his feet on the end of the bed. Deciding he could nap tomorrow he appointed himself watchman over his now peaceful friend.

Several hours later Johnny woke with a start. The sudden harsh intake of air was enough to awaken Hank as well. Rubbing his sleepy eyes he lowered his legs from the end of the bed and leaned forward in the chair. "John?"

Johnny looked over at his friend. "Cap, what are you doing in here?"

"You've been having nightmares. I uh…I thought I would stay close in case I needed to wake you again. Guess I fell asleep."

"Cap you don't have to babysit me. I'm a big boy."

"John you were hyperventilating. I just wanted to be close enough to make sure you didn't…"

"I'm okay Cap go to bed."

Knowing that he would only make Johnny mad if he stayed in the chair Hank got up, stretched and started towards the door. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks." In truth he would kill for a drink of cold water. His throat felt parched, but being the stubborn man he is John Gage didn't ask. He didn't want to be any trouble. Glancing over at his alarm clock he could see that it was only 3 am. Too early to get up, and not wanting to wake his Captain, Johnny just lay in the bed awake. The nightmares had shaken him. He felt afraid. He was afraid. Afraid of the fire, of not being able to face it again; afraid he was losing the ability to be a fireman which meant he would no longer be allowed to be a paramedic, which meant he would lose himself. Being a paramedic was more than just a job to him, it was a part of him; it defined him. Johnny lay awake until he heard Hank stirring in the other room. Looking at the clock he could see that it was now 7 o'clock. He had never gone back to sleep.

Turning his legs to the side of the bed, Johnny began the painstaking process of getting up from his reclining position. Slowly he gained enough strength to rise up and stand. He needed to take care of some personal business and see if he could find a pair of sweat pants as Roy had suggested.

Struggling for almost twenty minutes to get the sweat pants up Johnny finally was ready to make his way downstairs. Padding across the great room in his bare feet Johnny had reached the kitchen unnoticed. He looked over at his Captain searching the cabinets. "Uh Cap?"

Hank jumped. He had not heard Johnny coming. Truth be told he was still pretty groggy from lack of sleep the night before. He needed caffeine. He needed it bad. "Can't find the coffee."

"In the freezer."

"The freezer?"

"Yeah it keeps the beans fresh."

"Beans?"

"You use the grinder there to grind the beans the way you like them. I like them fine. Then you make the coffee like normal."

"Grind? Why don't you just buy it in those already ground packages?"

"I like it freshly ground. Here let me show you." Johnny unhooked the sling and reached up carefully into the freezer and took out the bag of coffee beans. He stopped and grimaced as he lowered his arm to place the bag on the counter.

"Let me," Hand suggested.

"I'm okay Cap. I've got this." Johnny was hurting, but his stubborn streak made him continue. He slowly got the beans into the grinder dropping several on the cabinet and floor. Once the beans were finely ground he poured them into the filter that he had placed in his Mr. Coffee drip coffee maker. Pressing the button to brew he turned to his superior with a grin on his face. He looked pleased with himself. True he had made a mess, but he had successfully started a full pot of fresh coffee for his friend. "Just wait. You will love this coffee. You may even want to start grinding your own." At that Johnny moved towards the great pulling his sling back into place. He was not concerned about cleaning up the spilled beans. He was hurting more than he wanted his Captain to know.

Hank chuckled at his friend and cleaned up the mess. Soon he followed Johnny into the great room with two really good tasting cups of coffee. After a rough night for both men this was starting out to be a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

Day by Day

Finding A Way Out - Chapter 3

By GCS

_**DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it.**_

_**The story, itself, is the property of the author.**_

The first thing Hank noticed as he tried to hand the coffee to Johnny was that all of the blinds in the room had been raised allowing the sunlight to illuminate the entire space. Johnny was at the front window trying to open it, but not having any luck. "Here John have your coffee. Let me see if I can help you with that window."

"No Cap. I can do it."

Hank noticed the anger that seemed to possess Johnny as he yanked on the window. He was sweating and tears ran down his face. The struggle with the unmoving window clearly caused pain in Johnny's injured muscles. Hank reached a hand over and helped raise it. Johnny slunk down to his  
knees and hung his head. "Give yourself time to heal son."

"I …I don't know if I can deal with this. What if I don't make it back?" Johnny looked up at his Captain. "Maybe I should have stayed up there. I mean if I can't be a fireman/paramedic. "

Captain Stanley saw the anguish in Johnny's expressive brown eyes. "No John you should not have stayed up there. You will make it back and the guys and I will help you." He reached down and helped Johnny up. "Now I think we both need some coffee. Do you need to open any  
more windows before we have our coffee?"

"No sir we don't have to."

"Well John do you normally open them all?"

"Um y..yes. Upstairs too, but we don't have to. We can just run the air if you want."

"John is that how you keep your utility expenses down?"

"Yes Sir. I like the fresh air."

"Well let's get cracking then, so I can get to that coffee." He proceeded to open every window in the house. Hank was amazed at how cool and light the open windows made the house. As he came back down stairs he was met by Johnny who handed him a freshly poured cup of  
coffee.

"It's better hot. I usually have mine out on the deck."

"Lead the way." Hank followed him out the French doors leading to the deck from the spacious kitchen. They sat outside listening to the birds singing and enjoyed the view. That is where they still were when  
Mike Stoker came around the house.

"Good Morning. I thought you guys might be hungry," Mike said as he placed a takeout bag on the table. "Any more of that good smelling coffee?"

"Yeah you know where the cups are," Johnny tilted his head towards the kitchen behind him.

"Refill?" Mike asked Johnny as he and Hank made eye contact. Picking up Johnny's cup he disappeared into the French doors.

"I'll give you a hand," Hank said as he followed Mike into the kitchen. Johnny just sat at the table staring at the clouds not even noticing that he was alone.

Inside the kitchen the two men whispered so Johnny would not over hear them. "How's he doing Cap?"

"He's having a hard time right now. You know how hard it is for him to accept help. He really hates feeling vulnerable. He is so depressed. He said that if he can't go back to the job he should  
have stayed on the roof. I don't know Mike. I'm really concerned about him."

Mike shook his head in understanding, picked up the two cups of coffee, and the two men joined their friend on the deck again. The three drank their coffee in silence. Captain Stanley ate his breakfast sandwich, but Johnny only nibbled at his and looked off into the distance. "Johnny  
did you take your meds this morning?" Johnny didn't answer. "Cap?"

"Gosh Mike I totally forgot about the medicine. I'll get it right now. We've been up for a couple of hours he's probably really hurting. Jesus what was I thinking?"

Mike studied his friend while they waited for Hank to return with the medications. Johnny looked like he was concentrating very hard to control his pain. "Johnny are you hurting?"

"A little."

"I'm thinking a lot. Why didn't you tell Cap?"

"Didn't want to bother him."

"You want to lie down a while? Maybe on the couch or in the recliner so you can watch the tv? I'm gonna see to the horses this morning. Craig put together a list, but I insisted that we start out with me,  
Chet and Marco. I didn't think you would be ready for Craig just yet."

Johnny chuckled, "No not ready for him yet. Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I need to lie down. I'm not feeling too good, but I don't know if I can get to the recliner by myself."

Mike could tell that it bothered Johnny to have to admit his weakness. "No problem just wait right here until Cap brings your meds and then I'll help you to the chair."

Johnny's eyes closed and Mike could see the strain on his face.

Hank returned with a glass of cool water and the prescribed amount of medication. "Here you go John. Take these. I also brought some Tylenol." Johnny took all of the meds including the Tylenol. Then he  
looked up towards Mike indicating that he was ready for the trip to the recliner. Mike took a firm hold across Johnny's back and together they entered the house. Having gotten Johnny settled into the recliner. Mike went to start tending the animals while Hank went off to shower. Hank wondered how many times Mike had helped Johnny when he was sick or injured. The two men seemed to have an understanding for each other that only comes with deep trust and friendship developed over time. These two were as different as night and day. Mike was quiet, tranquil, and calm, while Johnny was boisterous, always moving, and giddy, and yet they seemed totally comfortable together. Mike could read Johnny almost as well as Roy. Johnny slowly relaxed as the pain medication took hold, and he drifted off to sleep. For a while he slept soundly, but then the nightmare came again.

_`He was alone in a place where the darkness consumed him, a sultry dark place. He was on the roof of the office building facing the extreme heat the emanated from the slowly collapsing center of the platform. Suddenly he could see thin bright lines snaking up from the depths of  
the structure. The lines became bigger, wider. Then the lines became flames and closed in on him. He was getting hotter and hotter and the flames closer and closer seeming to taunt him; flitting before his face and then pulling back performing a kind of teasing dance. He could see his friends standing around the edge of the crumbling roof. They were watching him fall, but stood motionless. He needed help and no one was offering any. He looked from face to face only the beings had no faces. They stood there mocking him for trying to get out, but they had no faces. Then he ran for the edge of the roof and jumped. He fell into a dark cloud of smoke. The smoke smothered him. He couldn't breathe  
the pressure on his lungs unbearable. He gasped for air. He started choking and gagging. He couldn't breathe. He needed help, but no one came.'_

Mike came into the house at a run. "Johnny wake up buddy. You have to wake up. You're having a bad dream. Come on Johnny take some deep breaths." Johnny was thrashing in the recliner gasping for air.

"Mike what happened?"

"Bad dream."

"He has one every time he tries to sleep. He's not getting enough rest."

"He'll be okay Cap. This happens almost every time he's injured. He just has to work it out in his head and then he'll be all right."

"You've helped him before after an injury?"

"Yeah, we all have Cap."

Captain Stanley wondered why he had not known that the rest of his crew had helped Johnny after he had come home from the hospital on numerous occasions. Why had he not thought to do the same thing? He knew that Roy usually took care of his best friend. Well from now on Hank decided he  
would play a more active role in his crew's down time.

"He's done the same for all of us Cap. Johnny struggles with the dreams though and this time was enough to mess up anyone's sense of security." Turning his attention back to the sleeping man Mike  
gently shook him, "come on buddy time to wake up."

Johnny slowly became aware of Mike's gently prodding. "Wha…Mike?"

"Yeah Johnny you were dreaming again."

"Oh man." He looked from Mike to his Captain and saw the disheveled appearance, the still wet uncombed hair, half shaven, shirt unbuttoned and damp, and his bare feet. "Sorry Cap, didn't mean  
to interrupt."

Hank patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry about it John. I'll go finish up then we can see about getting you in the  
shower." A short time later both men showered and freshly dressed sat relaxing in the rocking chairs on the front porch. Johnny had opted to leave the sling off of his sprained shoulder. The truth was if he had  
been alone he would not have replaced the immobilizer on the other shoulder either. He had dislocated shoulders before and knew the physical therapy exercises and care instructions by heart. As soon as  
his friends let him be alone he would start working towards regaining full mobility. But to his disdain that would have to wait until no one was around to stop him.

Rising from his rocker Johnny looked over at his friend. "Roy will be here in a little while. I think I'll put on another pot of coffee."

Hank was beginning to understand that Johnny wanted, no needed to do some simple tasks to keep from going stir crazy. "Okay John. Let me know if you need any help."

Johnny nodded his head in agreement and went into the house to accomplish his task. Just as he disappeared behind the screen Captain Stanley could hear the crunching of tires on the gravel drive. Impressed at how Johnny knew exactly what time his partner would arrive Hank again thought about the closeness of his crew. Mike came strolling out of the barn and walked up to Roy as he got out of the car. The two men joined Hank on the porch. "Afternoon Roy."

"Hey Cap how's it going?"

"Fine, fine. We already got our shower and Mike hear has already handled the chores. We're doing fine."

"Good. He's not trying to keep the immobilizer off yet?"

Hank laughed at his knowing senior paramedic. "No not yet."

"Well that has to be a record. He usually sheds it after the first day home. It is either really bothering him or he is keeping it on for your benefit Cap." Roy smiled at his Captain. "Maybe you should  
stay with him more often when he is recovering from an injury." They again shared a laugh.

"Did I miss something?" Johnny said as he came back out on the porch carrying two cups of coffee handing one to Cap. "Uh I could only carry two," he said as he went to hand the other cup to Mike.

"I'll get mine and Roy's," Mike said turning to the door. "Be right back."

The afternoon went by with the four men relaxing on the porch, enjoying a light lunch of chicken salad sandwiches, chips and lemonade. Mike was the first to leave and Hank soon after. Roy planned to stay at least until dinner and through the night if Johnny needed him to. He knew that Johnny was probably ready to be left alone for a while. Chet and Marco were up next on the roster to help with the chores. Roy knew they would  
be arriving early, because they were on shift at 9. Roy planned on stopping by too if he didn't stay the night. This had been their routine in the past. The only difference had been that Hank stayed the  
first night which was what Roy usually did. "How about I warm up one of those casseroles that the wives left for dinner Junior?" He said not really expecting an answer as he got up and went to start dinner.

Roy hadn't stayed. After dinner they had watched some TV until Johnny had decided to turn in early. So around 9 o'clock with Johnny settled in bed Roy shut all the windows, locked up the house and headed  
home.

Chet and Marco arrived early knowing they had a lot to accomplish before heading to the station. Johnny also knew they would be there around 6 so he was up and already had coffee waiting for his friends. "Hey guys come on in."

Looking over at their friend they could tell he had not slept much. He sported dark circles under his eyes and his face looked strained. "Morning," both men responded at the same time. They also noticed that the sling and immobilizer were missing.

"Coffee's already poured in the kitchen," Johnny said with a somewhat forced happy tone. As the group moved from the door into the house another set of wheels could be heard crunching up the drive.  
Johnny stepped back to the door to see Roy getting out of his car. He chuckled at the expected arrival of his best friend. Pushing open the screen door he yelled a greeting, "Hey Pally coffee's on."

Roy smiled back at Johnny and shook his head. "I see you seem to have misplaced your immobilizer this morning."

"Uh…I…um j…just haven't put it on yet."

"Yeah I know." Entering the house Roy could hear Chet and Marco talking about the excellent coffee. "Morning guys."

"Hey Roy," they said in unison.

"Anybody home?" The group of men in the kitchen were startled by the arrival of yet another person. Hank Stanley poked his head in the kitchen door smiling. "I have breakfast compliments of my wonderful  
wife." He finished entering the room carrying a tray of sticky buns.

"Wow Cap my favorite!" Johnny said as he grabbed one from the tray before it was placed on the table.

"I see your appetite had improved." Hank said as he surveyed the appearance of his youngest crew member. "But you look like you didn't fare as well in the sleep department, and where is your  
immobilizer? " The group of men all laughed at Hank's question.  
They all knew not to expect Johnny to have it on after a whole day away from the doctors at Rampart.

Just as Johnny was about to respond Mike Stoker came in from the French doors that lead to the deck. "Thought you guys would be out back."

"Haven't gotten that far yet," Johnny informed his friend.

"Why do I think I have been missing these little get togethers before shift when one of you is out?" Hank asked the group.

The men looked at their shoes. They were slightly embarrassed that they had left the man out, but truthfully they knew he usually was first to arrive at the station and didn't want to impose. "Uh Cap we  
just…um we didn't…I mean."

"Relax Roy, I'm not upset. I guess it's hard to include your boss on everything, but just know that I'm here for you. Now I guess I had better head in to the station, so I can go over the log books from  
the previous shift and get the duty roster done. See you men at the station. John you take care of yourself today son. Call us if you need anything."

"Thanks Cap and uh for yesterday."

"Well Gage we had better get busy on your chores so that we aren't late for work. I don't think Cap would like it if the whole crew came in late." Chet put his cup in the sink and headed  
towards the front door. "Come on Marco."

"Right behind you."

Mike and Roy moved towards the great room. "Mike you take the upstairs and I'll get the windows down here."

Johnny smiled at his friends. They knew him well. He started filling the sink with dish water and cleared the table. This he could do without straining his injuries. Like they do battling fires these men worked  
well as a team. In short order the chores were done, the windows open, the guest bed stripped and the bedding in the wash. The four helpers were on their way to the station, Johnny relaxed in one of the rockers on the porch. This was going to be a good day. John Gage had decided after the nightmare last night that he would not let the fire beat him. He would get over his doubts and fight back. With the help of his friends he could return to battle the flaming beast. He would work at it day by day until he succeeded.


	4. Chapter 4

Friends Come To Help

Finding A Way Out – Chapter 4

By GCS

_**DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.**_

Johnny relaxed on the porch for quite a while eventually drifting off to sleep in the warm mid morning sun. As he had since coming home, he slipped into the same bad dream. The reality of his near death experience gripped his subconscious. He jerked awake sweating and breathless. He hadn't had a decent sleep since coming home from the hospital. While in the hospital he had been given a sedative to help him sleep. He was exhausted, but would not give in to sleep only to relive the terror that enveloped him on the roof. Johnny decided he would try to get a few things done around the ranch. He knew that if any of the guys were here with him they wouldn't let him because of his shoulder injuries, but fortunately for him they were on shift at the station. He also knew the range of motion exercises that he had been instructed to do when he had dislocated his shoulder before. True he hadn't started the exercises for at least a week after the previous injury, but he didn't care. In his mind the sooner he started the exercises the sooner his range of motion would improve. Deciding he would start in the barn cleaning out the tack room, Johnny strode across the yard with a new resolve.

He worked for over two hours arranging his equipment and cleaning the tack room. It was slow going, but he finally decided that he had done enough when he remembered the bedding that had been put in the wash. Johnny always dried his sheets outside in the fresh air. He went into the house to get the sheets. Having forgotten how heavy wet sheets can be he hoisted the laundry basket from the floor putting a lot of strain on his shoulders. If anyone had been there with him they would have known how much it hurt to lift the basket by the grimace on his face. _'Man that hurt. Maybe this is too much too soon,'_ he thought to himself. _'No I have to do this. I didn't survive that fire just to sit around while life passes me by.'_ Johnny was pushing himself too hard and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it, but in his heart he couldn't stop. If he stopped he might not ever be able to start again. Johnny didn't realize the error in his thinking. He only felt the fear of not being able to return to his job, the fear of not having the nerve to face another fire and most importantly the fear of death. His ability to think clearly about his recovery was clouded by those fears.

Struggling with the basket of sheets he was finally able to get them out back beside the clothes line. Gradually pulling one sheet from the basket Johnny carefully lifted it onto the line. His dislocated shoulder and still sore ribs protested greatly. He tried to do most of the work with his other hand. Finally pulling the sheet completely open and securing it with clothes pins, he bent to grab the other sheet. Johnny lost his balance from the awkward way he tried to pull the second sheet from the basket. He tumbled down onto his dislocated shoulder and cried out in pain. Johnny rolled over onto his back and cradled his arm. He did not know how long he lay there in the yard before he heard someone call his name. He heard footsteps running towards him. Cracking open his deep brown eyes he peered up at his best friend's wife, "Joanne, what are you doing here?"

"Johnny! Are you okay? What happened? Do I need to call a squad? Do I need to call Roy?"

Sighing Johnny answered her, "No Joanne. I'm fine. I uh…I just lost my balance."

"John Gage you are not fine. You are injured. What on earth are you doing out here hanging sheets with your dislocated shoulder?" Joanne knew that Johnny would try to do too much too soon. That is exactly why she had decided to stop by and check on him.

"Well they needed drying. I just wanted to hang them up out here in the fresh air."

"You shouldn't be lifting these wet sheets Johnny. They are too heavy for your shoulder. By the way where is your sling and immobilizer?" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Uh I…I don't need them anymore." Johnny had managed to get up on his knees and was slowly rising from the ground.

"Here Johnny let me help you," Joanne reached over and helped steady her friend. "Have you taken your pain meds this morning?"

"Aw Joanne they make me feel so tired. I just wanted to do a few things. You know I need to…."

"Need to what Johnny? Re-injure yourself? What exactly is it that you need to do that can't be done by someone else or wait until you have had time to heal? What Johnny? Just tell me!" Joanne was really worked up now.

Johnny was equally adamant about what he wanted and intended to do on his own ranch, but he didn't want to be rude to his friend. "Listen Jo, I just want to stay busy. I…I can't just sit here thinking about what happened. I w…won't let this…this little injury keep me down. I have to do this." He was on one of his tirades now and couldn't stop himself. "I have to. What if I can't? What if this near death episode is the last fire I can face? What will I do? Jo I…I don't….I don't know what to do."

Joanne understood now why he was driving himself so hard. "Oh Johnny." She reached out and took him in a sisterly hug. "It's going to be okay. You know you are meant to be a paramedic. It's in your blood. You will make it back. Don't you worry about it. You will. I just know it." She brushed the hair from his face and kissed him on the cheek. "Now John Gage you will go into the house and get a quick shower. I will hang the rest of these sheets and then come in and prepare us some lunch."

"Okay." Johnny didn't have any fight left in him. He turned and headed into the house to shower. Truthfully he was in pain from the overexertion. He made the water as hot as he could stand it and stepped into the shower letting the heat and steam wash over his sore joints and muscles.

While Johnny was in the shower Joanne finished hanging the sheets and making sure he wouldn't hear her she made a quick call to the station.

"Station 51 fireman Kelly speaking."

"Hello Chet, this is Joanne. Could I speak to Roy please?"

"Sure Joanne. Hang on a minute. Roy! Your wife is on the phone!" Joanne could here the clanking of the hand set as he laid it down on the desk.

"Hello." Roy wondered why his wife was calling him. "Joanne is everything all right?"

"Roy I'm at Johnny's."

"What's wrong Jo?"

"Well nothing really. He is…well you know Johnny he…he is trying to do too much."

"What did he do honey? What happened?" Roy was getting really worried now.

"I found him in the back yard by the clothes line. He had fallen. He said he lost his balance while trying to hang the sheets."

"Hang the sheets? With his shoulders banged up? What was he thinking?" Roy was getting mad now.

"Roy calm down. He is in the shower. He doesn't know I'm calling. I'm really worried about him. This accident really has him rattled. He's worried Roy, really worried that he will not make it back to being a fireman. I've never seen him this upset and afraid. I don't know what to do."

"Look honey. Johnny will be fine. He's just tired and hurting. Has he taken his pain medication?"

"He doesn't want to take it. He said it makes him feel bad. I'll fix us some lunch and try to get him to take it. I can't stay long because I have to pick up the kids in a little while. Is there someone coming by later? I don't think we can trust him to be alone without trying to do too much and hurting himself."

"Craig Brice is coming by later to tend the animals."

"Oh Johnny will just love that."

"Yeah he will but Craig's off shift today, and he did put the list together so we had to let him be one of the first to help. They'll be okay Jo. Craig is a pain in the….. (Roy remembered he was speaking to his wife and didn't want to say the wrong thing) well he is kind of hard to take sometimes, but I think his heart is in the right place. Look honey just try to get Johnny to eat a good lunch and take his meds especially the pain meds."

"I will Roy. I love you Mr. Desoto."

"I love you too Mrs. Desoto."

Joanne busied herself preparing soup and sandwiches for lunch. Soup was always a good comfort food when someone was sick or injured. She had heard the water shut off some time ago and was beginning to wonder what was keeping Johnny. She decided she might need to check on him. When she peeked into his room she found him lying on top of the bed dressed in a navy LACFD t-shirt and tan shorts. He had also put the immobilizer back on his dislocated shoulder which screamed to anyone that knew him that he had hurt himself more than he had admitted. He was asleep. Joanne went to the linen closet in the hall and got a light blanket to cover her friend. When she slipped back into the room she saw that Johnny was not resting easy. His brow was wrinkled showing stress and his face looked…well he looked afraid. Joanne had never seen Johnny show fear at anything, and now in sleep he was obviously facing something that scared him very much. She sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his forehead whispering comforting words to her 'little brother'. His face seemed to relax. Joanne kept up her soothing actions for a few more minutes. Just as she started to get up she noticed that his bleary brown eyes were looking up at her. "I'm sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay Jo. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"You need your rest sweetie."

"Can't stop remembering."

"I know. Are you hungry? I have some soup and sandwiches ready."

The two friends got up and headed downstairs for lunch. They didn't talk much throughout their meal. They both had a lot on their minds: Joanne wondering to herself how to help Johnny overcome his worries about returning to the job that made him who he is, and Johnny mentally beating himself up over how he had allowed himself to be affected by this whole situation.

"Johnny you need to take your medications including the pain pill. I know you don't like the way it makes you feel, but I also know by the fact that you put the immobilizer back on that your shoulder is bothering you a lot."

"Okay." Johnny did not protest which concerned Joanne even more as to just how much he had hurt himself out in the yard.

"I have to run some errands before I pick up the kids, but I want you to call me if you need anything this evening. Roy said Craig Brice would be putting the animals up for the night, so I don't want you to over do it mister." She smiled at her friend.

"Yes Ma'am!" Johnny smiled back at her with his biggest crooked Gage grin.

"Now you go find somewhere comfortable to relax while I clean up these dishes."

Johnny stopped on his way out of the kitchen to give Joanne a hug. "Thanks Joanne your being here really means a lot to me."

"Oh Johnny I wouldn't have it any other way. You are part of our family. Roy would not be very happy with me if I didn't at least try to take care of you even though you prefer your independence. We love you Uncle Johnny." She teased him. "Now get out of 'your' kitchen and let me work."

He left the kitchen feeling better than he had earlier and headed for his recliner. Joanne finished the cleaning and had left to take care of her errands. Johnny put a movie in his VCR and relaxed for the remainder or the afternoon. Around 6 o'clock he heard a car pull up out front. Thinking it must be Craig he went out onto the porch to find not only Craig, but Bob Bellingham, Gil Robinson, and Charlie Dwyer getting out of Charlie's Jeep.

"Hey guys," he yelled from the porch.

"Hey Gage," Craig was the first to speak always calling people by their last name.

"Hey Johnny," Bellingham and Dwyer said at the same time.

"Hey old friend," Gil finished the greetings.

The group of men made their way over to Johnny on the porch. "What brings all of you out here? I knew Craig was coming, but to what do I owe this visit from the rest of you?"

"Doctor Brackett has requested that I do a check on your injuries and make a report of your vitals and check for temperature," Craig answered.

"And since Mr. Paramedic here is going to be busy with you the rest of us tagged along to do the real work," Bob teased his partner.

Craig rolled his eyes at Bob and moved to enter the house. "Well I could have done both Bob, but you all insisted on accompanying me. I got the idea that you thought I couldn't handle the horses, but I'll have you know I do have experience with animals."

"Cool you jets there Craigy I know your capable." They all laughed including Craig at Bob's statement.

"Craigy?" Johnny asked.

"Well Mr. Rule Book here has softened up a bit after your little episode on top of that roof there Mr. Gage. I just don't know what got into him. He is such a little teddy bear now," Bob continued to tease Craig.

"Look Bellingham," Craig had to get his partner under control before he embarrassed him anymore.

"Okay relax partner. We have work to do. While you check out Gage here the real men will handle the chores. Come on Dwyer let's you and I handle the horses. I'm sure they would like a good rub down. Gil, Roy said something about the windows. You want to take care of that and any other household chores Johnny hear might need doing? Oh yeah and he said something about sheets on the line," Bob led Charlie to the barn.

"How did you all know about the sheets?" Johnny asked. "And who talked to Brackett?" Johnny knew it had to be Joanne. She must have called Roy. He would have to talk to his friend. She ratted on him. He smiled to himself knowing that she cared enough to be sure he got the help she decided he needed. In the house Johnny protested the check up from Craig. "I don't need you to check me out. I am a paramedic too you know."

"Well John you are not cleared for work right now. I have been given direct orders from Dr. Brackett to do a thorough check up. He also sent you a prescription for a light sedative if you are still having trouble sleeping. Now can we get this over with?" Craig was not taking no for an answer.

"John? Craig you called me John. Not Gage, but John. What has gotten in to you?"

Craig looked at his feet and scuffed his toe on the hardwood floor in Johnny's great room, "We um…we all thought…you almost didn't…I mean we could have lost you John. You are a good man, a fine paramedic and I…I would have missed having you on the team." Craig raised his eyes and met Johnny's. "I don't have many friends. I didn't want to lose one."

Johnny was very surprised and moved by Craig's comment. "Well thank you." He didn't know what else to say. He reached his good arm out and patted Craig on the shoulder. "I'm glad to call you friend Craig."

After the check up of Johnny's shoulder to make sure it had not slipped out of the socket again and getting all of his vitals reported to Dr. Brackett, the chores all finished, the group of men relaxed on Johnny's deck.

"Man Johnny I don't think I would have been able to think as clearly as you did to find a way out of that situation. The department heads are probably rewriting the procedure books to include different uses for fire hose," Gil told his friend. "I'm really glad you found that hose."

"Me too Gil. Me too."

"So Johnny how long is Brackett going to keep you off from work," Charlie asked.

"I don't know. Until my shoulder heals I guess. I hope I don't have to stay off long enough to have to recertify."

"Well guys I hate to bust up this party, but I have to get home to the misses. She expects me to take her out to dinner," Charlie rose from his seat.

"Take care of yourself Gage," Craig had gone back to using Johnny's last name in front of the others.

Johnny laughed at his friend, "Okay B-r-i-c-e. I guess I'll be seeing you guys. Thanks for your help today. I really appreciate it." Johnny walked his friends to Charlie's Jeep and watched them as they pulled out of his drive. Turning back to the house he felt good about the afternoon. He knew he had many good friends. Walking slowly enjoying the cool evening breeze he stopped to look up at the clouds. He didn't want to miss anything ever again. Live is too short.


	5. Chapter 5

Facing Fear

Finding A Way Out – Chapter 5

By GCS

_**DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.**_

Feeling better about his future Johnny decided to get some dinner and try to get some real sleep. It was also time for another pain pill. He hated the way they made him feel, but he wanted to sleep tonight. He hadn't told anyone, but his shoulder was really hurting after his fall earlier. Hopefully he wouldn't have any bad dreams tonight. Finding a bowl of lasagna Joanne had put in his freezer he turned the oven on to the proper heat setting according to her notes taped to the top of the bowl. He removed the note and put the casserole dish in the oven, set the time and headed into the great room to watch the news while his dinner heated. Before he could get through the door leading from the kitchen to the great room the telephone rang. "Hello Gage residence."

"Hey Johnny."

"Evening Roy. How's it going?"

"Good. We've been pretty busy today, simple stuff, but still a lot of runs. You doing okay Junior?"

"Well Pally since you sent the Calvary out here to check on me I'm doing great. Brackett sent a sedative. Somebody must have talked to him today. Wonder who that might have been?"

"Johnny…"

"No really Roy did you have to call Brackett? I don't want him thinking I need to be off any longer than I have to."

"I didn't."

"I mean really Roy I just wanted to do a few….wait…what? You didn't, then who?"

"Joanne called Dixie. She was worried about you Johnny. She said she found you having another bad dream. She said you looked like you hadn't slept since you got home. She loves you Junior. Please don't be upset with her."

Johnny was silent on the other end of the phone line for a long time. Roy knew he was still there, because he could hear him breathing. He ran his hands through his hair as he did when he was tired, upset, or thoughtful. "I'm not mad."

"Good because I know Joanne would not want you to be upset with her about calling Dixie. Anyway Dixie talked to Brackett. He was planning to come out there himself until she talked him out of it. She knew he would probably want you re-admitted for observation until the dreams stopped. Dixie knew you would never agree to that. Johnny a lot of people care about you and want to see you back at work as soon as possible, but try not to over do it."

"Yeah okay Roy. Listen I hear the timer on my dinner. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm turning in early tonight. I'm kinda tired."

"Okay Johnny, goodnight."

"Nite Roy you guys be careful."

"Sure thing Junior."

Johnny stood by the phone for a few minutes thinking about Joanne seeing him having another bad dream. His friends must be thinking he had lost his mind. The beeping of the oven timer brought him back to the present. He went to retrieve his dinner from the oven. Opening the door allowed the heat to escape. Feeling the heat on his face made Johnny step back from the oven. Suddenly he was gripped with a flashback of the intense heat at the fire that nearly took his life. He began shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut and found his way to one of the kitchen chairs. Slumping down into the chair and trying to control his breathing. He didn't want to pass out. _'God what is happening to me?' _he thought. _'I've got to get a hold of myself.' _

He sat there for a few minutes breathing slowly, deeply. Feeling in control once again he took his dinner from the oven and closed the door trapping the heat inside. He grabbed a dish rag to hold the bowl with and went to his favorite seat in the great room, his recliner. Flipping on the TV as he passed he tuned in to the newsonly to find that the newscaster telling a follow up story about the office building fire. His picture was in the corner of the screen, "Fireman Paramedic John Gage is recuperating after his heroic attempt to escape the deteriorating building. He was able to tie himself with a fire hose allowing his descent from the collapsing roof. Mr. Gage sustained injuries after slamming into the side of the outside wall of the structure. It has been determined that this fire was caused by an electrical short in the wiring. This station wants to wish Mr. Gage a speedy recovery. We need people like him on the job of protecting the good people of Los Angeles and the surrounding community."

Johnny placed his dinner on the coffee table. He had lost his appetite. Getting up and turning off the TV he decided to try to rest on the sofa for a while. Thinking maybe some music would help him relax he turned on the stereo. _'Why did everyone think he was such a hero? He just tied a hose around his waist and fell off that building. Couldn't they just drop it? Didn't they know he might not be able to do his job anymore?'_ His mind raced with thoughts about the newscast. He fell into a fitful sleep dreaming once again about the fire.

'_He was alone in a very dark place, a very hot dark place, but he was shivering. The darkness seemed to envelope him making him cold in the middle of extreme heat. Suddenly he could see thin bright lines snaking up along the walls of darkness. The lines became bigger, wider. He was back on the eighth floor of the building that almost claimed his life. He ran to the roof seeking escape. Then the lines became flames and closed in on him. He tried to move away only to find out there was no escape. He was getting hotter and hotter and the flames closer and closer seeming to taunt him; flitting before his face and then pulling back performing a kind of teasing dance. He stood at the edge of the roof looking down at his shift mates, his friends. He called out to them for help. There was nothing they could do. He was alone. He turned and faced the fire. He stood his ground watching as it came for him. He could feel its heat. He could see its fury. He screamed.'_

Johnny woke himself screaming. He was covered in sweat. He sat up breathing heavily and looked around the room expecting to see fire consuming everything in its path. Finally he realized that he had been dreaming again. Deciding he needed to eat something so he could take his pain medicine and go to bed he reached for the bowl of lasagna. It was still warm so he took a few bites. Eating only a small amount he got up and took the bowl to the kitchen sitting it on the counter. He poured himself a glass of milk he took the prescribed medication. Remembering the light sedative that Brackett had sent over he grabbed them and took them upstairs with the rest of his milk. He didn't plan on taking any unless he couldn't sleep. He hated drugs, but if he had another nightmare tonight he thought he would give them a try. It was a cool evening and he loved the fresh air, so he opened the window in his bedroom, stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and slipped under the covers. In a few minutes he fell asleep.

After an hour of deep sleep he awoke again from the dream that had haunted him for the last few days. Giving in he decided to take the sedative and try again to sleep.

He awoke the next morning from the sun shining in from the raised window onto his face. He had slept peacefully after taking the sedative and felt very refreshed. _'Wow, thank you Dr. Brackett,' _he thought. Suddenly Johnny thought he smelled a familiar odor. Jumping from the bed he grabbed his pants and quickly looked out the window. He didn't see anything unusual. Pulling on his pants as he made his way across his bedroom he lunged for the stairs. Pulling off the immobilizer as he descended the stairs he ran for the kitchen. Nothing. He looked out the back door. Nothing. Where was it? He knew he could smell it. Running through the house to the front door he leapt off the front porch looking around. He sniffed the air. Where was it coming from? Sensing that it was coming from his neighbor's house he ran barefooted across his lawn and into the barn. Living on a ranch with several acres he knew his horse would get him there faster. Not wasting time with a saddle or reins he led his beloved American paint into the yard by a soft touch to her neck. He spoke to her in soft tones as they walked she nuzzled his shoulder. Once they were in the yard he grabbed hold of her mane and mounted her bare back. Tapping her sides with his bare feet they began with a trot but quickly they were flying across the open field between his house and the woods that separated his land from his neighbors. His hair blew in the wind, their bodies moved as one gliding across the distance. The odor became much stronger as he got closer to his neighbors property. Bursting from the woods at a full gallop he could see the flames shooting from the windows of the barn.

"Johnny, help us! Please! George went into the barn to get the horses out. He went back in for the last one, but hasn't come out. He's been in there too long. Please help him!" His neighbor's wife yelled to him as he approached. He jumped from his mare, patted her on the neck and turned her back towards the woods. She obediently walked back towards the direction they had come from. Johnny turned in a full run towards the barn.

Not stopping to think about what he was doing he called to his neighbor's wife. "Call the fire department. Tell them to send a squad and ambulance with the response. Tell them you have an off duty paramedic on the scene attempting to rescue George. Hurry!"

She ran for the house. He ran for the barn.

Ducking into the burning structure he was immediately aware of the heat and thick smoke. Pulling his shirt off and dipping it into a bucket of water by the door he tied it around his mouth and nose to help him breathe. "George, can you hear me?" Scanning the floor near the door he proceeded further into the intense heat. "George where are ya man?" He looked into the stalls nearest where he stood. He knew there was not much time. The barn was burning fast. He pushed further into the darkness. The smoke was so thick it was difficult to see. "George," he coughed out harshly. The wet shirt helped but did not stop the smoke from entering his lungs entirely. "Come on man where are you?" Finally Johnny could hear a wheezing cough a few feet ahead of him. He stumbled on George's prone body. Grabbing his friend in a fireman's carry that tortured his injured shoulder he turned towards the exit. It seemed as if everything around him was burning. The fire danced up the walls into the hayloft and consumed the hay in a colorful array of flames and smoke. Johnny shook off the momentary feeling of fear and moved towards the fresh air that awaited him outside the inferno.

He could hear the sirens approaching. He stumbled from the barn with his precious cargo. Falling to his knees only a few feet from the burning structure, he couldn't go any further. Wracked with coughing he tried to crawl towards safety with his victim. The squad and engine pulled up at the same time. It was 51's. Roy and Billy his temporary partner ran over to their fallen comrade. Billy took George from him and moved towards the squad. Captain Stanley had already laid out a blanket and was in the process of setting up the equipment. Roy helped Johnny to his feet. Mike appeared on his other side and the two of them helped him over to the squad. Chet and Marco began spraying the barn. It would be a total loss, but they needed to keep the fire from spreading to the house. Roy pulled the wet shirt from Johnny's face and replaced it with the oxygen mask. "Here this will help."

Johnny pulled the mask from his face, "The horse. He was trying to get to the horse."

"I'm sorry John the fire is just too hot." Captain Stanley said. "It's too late."

Johnny laid back. Roy pushed the oxygen mask back into place. "Keep that on Johnny. You need to take deep breaths and try to clear your lungs." Johnny nodded at his best friend. "Billy how is George doing?"

"He's awake. The oxygen is doing the trick. He has some first and second degree burns on his hands and arms. I'm getting his vitals. I'll get on the radio to Rampart."

"Johnny can you tell me where you're hurt?"

Johnny slipped the mask from his face, "I think my shoulder slipped out again, my feet. Hurts." His eyes drooped.

"Stay with me Johnny." Roy got his vitals and took the bio-phone after Billy reported George's condition and started the IV Brackett ordered. "Rampart we have a Code I, an off duty paramedic who rescued the victim before the fire department arrived on the scene. He has some minor burns on his feet and smoke inhalation." Roy continued to report Johnny's vital signs to Dr. Brackett. "Um Rampart he is also complaining of pain in his previously dislocated shoulder."

"51 please identify the code I," Dr. Brackett knew who it was, but he needed verification.

"Rampart our code I is John Gage."

"10-4 51. Immobilize the shoulder, treat the burns with saline soaked dressings, continue oxygen, start IV D5W TKO and transport."

"How is he Roy?" Captain Stanley came over to check on Johnny.

"He's okay Cap. Minor burns to his feet, re-injured the shoulder, and some smoke. He'll probably stay overnight for observation. Hopefully the shoulder can just be put back and immobilized. He may get to come back home tomorrow."

"Good." Captain Stanley knelt down next to Johnny. "Son you sure can get yourself into some real messy situations, but you did well. We'll check on you at Rampart." He patted Johnny on the arm and returned to his duties directing the scene.

Roy rode in the ambulance with George and Johnny.

"Roy."

"Yeah Johnny?"

"I did it Roy. I faced the fire. It didn't get me."

Roy smiled at his friend. "You sure did partner."

Johnny really relaxed for the first time since he fell from the roof of the office building. He knew in his heart that he could return to his position as a fireman/paramedic. Sure it would take time to heal from his injuries, but he would get there. His friends would be with him all the way. He could do it. The nightmares would not stop him. The fire would not beat him. He had faced his fear and survived.

The end.


End file.
